Princess Stomper

Princess Stomper | Eleven more records to be embarrassed about liking

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Marilyn Manson – This Is The New
If I was 13 years old, my enjoyment of this song would be pure and untainted. It might be a shameless rip-off of NIN and KMFDM and nearly a decade out of date when it came out, but 13 year-old me isn’t to know that and can just revel unselfconsciously in its rebellion and bleeped-out naughty words. The trouble is, I’m 35 years old and somebody’s mother.

Robbie Williams – Bodies
There’s something frustrating about Robbie Williams, in that nine tenths of his output is total bollocks but once or twice he’s done something really good. I could have chosen ‘Tripping’, but I think that is so good as to be relatively uncontroversial as a great record. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about there. This one, however, has stupid lyrics and – most humiliating of all – the reason that I like it is because it sounds like Tears For Fears and I always liked Tears For Fears. I actually bought this single for the sole reason that it was unusual and I like to encourage that. I’m listening to it now and thinking, you know what? This is a really bloody good record.

Madonna/Justin Timberlake – 4 Minutes
Most people would concede that Madonna has put out some impressive records in her time. Even die-hard metal fans liked ‘Frozen’, and most music lovers admired the Ray Of Light album. It’s Justin Timberlake who’s the problem. He’s a fine actor, but as a singer, he’s just so damned insipid. He even sings in a squeaky falsetto on this … but it works. Even Timbaland chipping in works. Even the stupid chanting of “Madonna” works. It’s just catchy.

Kanye West – Love Lockdown|
I really have no excuse for this. It’s more autotuned than an episode of Glee, and it’s Kanye West! But those drums …

Thirty Seconds To Mars – The Kill
They were basically Linkin Park with an emo haircut, but really, who cares when it’s Jordan Catalano? I’m still amazed by how good Jared Leto’s voice is – it is probably the best rock voice I’ve heard since Kurt Cobain. Oh well. If you feel bad about liking this, you can always make up for it by watching Patrick Bateman kill him with an axe. (It’s a shame 30STM went shit with their last album. And, yes, I can make the distinction.)

Disturbed – Indestructible
Could it get any worse? Yes, I loved ‘Deify’, bought the album, and I’d do it again, I tell you! Hold the maniacal laughter for one second, though, as I explain that I own three albums by Disturbed. That’s right. I bought one album and liked it so much that I went back for more. Wow. I feel like I’ve just admitted to an animal porn collection. ‘Indestructible’ is a festering rash of macho jingoistic lyrics and radio-friendly trucker rock. It’s the musical equivalent of a Double Whopper cheeseburger – it doesn’t matter how bad you know it is for you, it tickles the senses in pleasant ways. Plus it makes me feel a whole lot less bad about liking that Robbie Williams song.

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