Edward Guglielmino’s Guide to… 30 ways to make your band underground
He’s thin, he’s skinny, he’s deeply misunderstood and he’s writing for Collapse Board!
Here is the first in the series from Brisbane’s answer to the bell-bottomed, loose-limbed, devil-may-croon swagger of Dave Graney on How To Make It In The Music Business And Still Annoy The Fuck Out Of Everyone Who Matters
1. Get your band to rehearse in separate houses over Skype and use the delay between lines as an effect.
2. Sample yourself sampling yourself on a sampler with an 80s sampler and then use protools to loop you looping it.
3. Record everything on tape, not recording tape but sticky tape.
4. Put out all your releases on mono shalack glass plate records that only play on 1940s record-players.
5. Release your album at a secret location, so secret that even you don’t know where it is.
6. Invite Everett True to arrange your songs.
7. Use your brother’s old computer to record your demos in your parents’ garage. Your brother’s old computer is a Commodore 64.
8. Get put into a mental institution and record your music in the electroshock room while being shocked.
9. Release your music on USB sticks buried in 12-inches of cement.
10. Start a Scott Walker Drift tribute band.
11. Put your music up for free on the internet at http://we23403√√ƒƒ˙˙∫∆∆˙∆˙∆å˙∆˙©å©∆©∆ƒ∂∂˙åƒ˙åƒ∆©∆©∆˚
12. Get your niece to play drums. Your niece is two-years-old.
13. Call your band “All asylum seekers should be allowed in without scrutiny”.
14. Record your house-mate snoring, put your Commodore 64 under the ocean and then mix the two together and release it on sticky tape.
15. Record a single… man.
16. Record a song about “space docking”.
17. The only way to download your new album is to get a download code tattooed on your bottom.
18. Your new album is a pitch that makes people deaf.
19. The only way to download your new record is call a fax number, and listen to the noise.
20. Your band is a construction crew.
21. Your new single is a series of ones and zeros when typed into a binary code reader it plays the songs.
22. Your album is only available in selected vegan restaurants.
23. Sign to a Siberian record label.
24. Get David Lynch to direct your band.
25. Get Charlie Kaufman to write your lyrics.
26. Get Yoko Ono to sing lead vocals in reverse.
27. Get get Jarvis Cocker to mention you in a documentary.
28. All band members need to be ex-staff from a defunct vinyl pressing plant.
29. Use film terms to describe your music. Example 80’s Sci Fi, Film Noirish, Mise en Scene.
30. Be from Hobart.
This list can be used to make great underground bio’s.
For example:
Jarvis Cocker (2008) “This great band I love is called All asylum seekers should be allowed in without scrutiny. They are kind of an 80s film noir sci-fi group, David Lynch directed their videos and the lyrics were written by Charlie Kauffman. The band was basically a construction crew from Hobart signed to a Siberian record label. They made they their way as a Scott Walker Drift tribute band and released their first album on sticky tape. “
You can have a go in the comments.
Share this post:
- Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
- Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)
- Click to print (Opens in new window)
by EdG
Love him or hate him Edward Guglielmino is an artist people talk about. Whether it be about his constant online bantering, an endless run of east coast and international touring or his unique style of avant-garde crooning, the last couple of years have seen the artist be the centre of conversation on many an occasion. Not so much a rebel as simply someone intent on doing things his own way; whimsically re-interpreting his songs from gig to gig, writing, recording and uploading from all corners of the globe, pausing regularly to collate an official release made up of a mix of bedroom and even hotel recordings. But, like any good artist, his way has now evolved. Evolved from the indie-kid mix of bedroom and hotel recordings to the fully produced and realised affair that was Late At Night and most recently his latest single release ‘Settle Down With Me’ which marked his first studio recording with his newly formed band The Show. The song was recorded in one cut-throat session with veteran producer Magoo at his Applewood Studio and displays Ed’s newly-discovered penchant with playing with others. Dubbed The Show, Ed’s permanent studio and stage band are a collective of Brisbane talent featuring Nicoletta Panebianco on keys, Scottie Regan on bass and Skinny Jean’s Samuel D. Schlencker on drums.
2 Responses to Edward Guglielmino’s Guide to… 30 ways to make your band underground