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 Everett True

(Anti-)Song of the day – 277: New Waver (free download)

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This is just about the worst music I’ve heard in years. So bad it’s bad.

It thinks maybe it’s Negativland. It’s not. It thinks maybe it’s The Residents. It’s so not. It think maybe it’s Plunderphonics. It really, really isn’t. What it is is a bloke from Melbourne singing horrendously tuneless, contemporary lyrics set to hoary old songs (Dire Straits’ ‘Money For Nothing’, The Beatles’ ‘Hey Jude’, etc). It’s a bit like the singing segment from Whose Line Is It Anyway?, only done really horribly badly. Peter Kay, with no talent (Peter Kay, then). It’s the sort of thing you might watch for about 15 minutes when you’re totally fucking hammered and think is the funniest thing ever, and then wake up two days later with a stinking headache vowing never to venture outside again.

I know I got sent an entire history about Greg Wadley’s Melbourne anti-music group – something about how they’ve been going for two decades, and released a million cassettes and MP3s of ‘satirical’ music, of which Bohemian Surfer Rhapsody is merely the latest, but frankly I need to go listen to The Undertones’ ‘When Saturday Comes’ on mega-blast for five hours now to cleanse my ears. Oh wait, here you go. (A ‘New Waver’ is 80s vintage pejorative Queensland slang for a male who is interested in music, rather than football, and thus deserving of harassment or violence. Apparently.)

Respect due to Mr Wadley. It’s rare that I find music this objectionable – and that is totally a recommendation in itself.

I mean, sure it’s culturally subversive. Music this bad, this deliberately, always is. Here.

Oh… and if you really want to piss off your friends and neighbours, you can download the entire new album for free. I can recommend the Prince reworking, ‘Party Like It’s 1979’, as being particularly objectionable.

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