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 Laura Crapo

Why Canada drives me nuts

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Nickelback

By Laura Crapo

If you are a visitor to Canada and are listening to commercial radio, you might think there is a demand for Rush, Nickleback, Tragically Hip and Blue Rodeo to be played, quite often. In fact, no. Many people can’t stand those bands for the very reason that they are overplayed. ‘At The Hundredth Meridian’ is the tool programmers use over and over to, I’m guessing, raise their middle finger to the Canadian content laws. Either that, or those bands have threatened radio stations with the most terrifying repercussions if their music isn’t played at least 50 times a day. The only respite is a lunch hour reflection of hits from the 70s. This psychedelic snack is the only air to breathe on commercial radio.

Why do I even listen to it? Because they play Led Zeppelin sometimes. I could look away, but it is my civic duty to look this painful episode on Canada’s wall of shame, and try and change it.

Canadian content laws were meant to promote and foster Canadian artists. But clearly there are only a handful of bands benefitting from it. And they are all unworthy of repeated listening.

While you might ask yourself why Canadians are ghost-like in their unfriendliness (mostly in Ontario, and Ontarians like me whom have moved to other provinces) and why they hold these bands so dear, to the detriment of our collective mental health. We can be friendly, just open with “why so much Nickleback on the radio?” and we’ll be like “I know, eh!!”

I am this close to picketing my local classic rock station. It has to stop. It’s the emperor’s new clothes, this pretending people like hearing the same shit over and over. We don’t. Canada has a wonderful history of many great musical artists. And guess what: Nickleback, Rush, Tragically Hip are not among them.

Either that, or it’s Canada’s secret way to make our country less attractive to tourists, which explains why we have so much wide open space and so few people.

3 Responses to Why Canada drives me nuts

  1. Herb Levy September 10, 2011 at 10:41 pm

    seems more like “how” than “why” Canada drives you nuts, but otherwise, fuck yeah

  2. Erika September 12, 2011 at 8:04 am

    If you were living in the US you’d be listening to Bon Jovi, Billy Squier, and Foreigner. Count your blessings.

  3. cirrusminor May 15, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    Neil Young. This is all.

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