Everett True

What I did tonight instead of going to see Arctic Monkeys play live

What I did tonight instead of going to see Arctic Monkeys play live
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Everett True details what he did tonight instead of watching dad rock revival band Arctic Monkeys.

  • I thought how much I hate the concept of indie bands playing arenas, and wondered whether I’d ever seen a decent one. (Answer: yes. Several times.)
  • I performed on stage in a lecture theatre, spinning a web of myth and happenstance.
  • I ate two beef and mustard sandwiches.
  • I mulled over two former friends – Courtney Love and Alan McGee – and wondered whether I was right to do so. I’ve bad-mouthed her way more than she’s bad-mouthed me.
  • I traded insults (unwittingly) with an 18-year-old.
  • I wondered whether it is indeed possible to become addicted to music and felt that perhaps if it was it would explain why I can’t stop listening to this song.
  • I mean, this song.
  • And how I want to hear it 30, 40 times over… and still that wouldn’t be enough to satisfy the craving, the almost physical shaking of my desire to hear it start up again.
  • I talked about the wrong Avatar.
  • I made fun of Courtney Cox.
  • I played ‘Crazy In Love’ as I walked out in front of my students and told them that – that strut of Yoncé’s right there, that swagger – that is how I see myself up on stage in front of them. And everyone laughed and cheered and applauded because everyone loves a wag. But I was being honest. And then I told them that this was how I really felt… but that was me being dishonest. I can inhabit Yoncé, trust me.
  • I wrote in bullet points.
  • I figured that Arctic Monkeys are probably best left out of the imagination because vilification is so much more entertaining.
  • I mourned the passing of my beloved music criticism as an art-form once more.

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