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 Everett True

The five rules of rock

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The Cramps

Here are the five rules of rock. Break these, and … well, you better have a damn good reason. 

IT HAS TO ROCK (The Cramps)

IT HAS TO BE LOOSE (The Gories)

IT NEEDS TO FEEL SPONTANEOUS (The Saints)

SOME IMAGINATION DON’T HURT YOUR SCRAWNY WHITE ASS NONE (Huggy Bear)

SOME NOISE DON’T HURT YOUR SPOTTY WHITE ASS NONE (Sonic Youth ft Lydia Lunch)

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DON’T LOSE SIGHT OF THE GROOVE, THE RIFF, THE REFRAIN … THE MAIN FRAME (CAN)

KEEP IT SHORT. KEEP IT SWEET. (Gossip)

IT HAS TO FUCKING ROCK (EMA)

P.S. If it was that easy to get right, don’t you think everyone would be doing it? 

5 Responses to The five rules of rock

  1. David September 19, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    I love how there are eight rules. Surely one of the rules should be to break the rules.

  2. Everett True September 19, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    Surely one of the rules should be to break the rules.

    Well yeah. I just didn’t want to be too obvious about it.

  3. Rob September 20, 2011 at 8:18 pm

    I thought the first rule was 1) No shorts, and the second rule 2) Never let the drummer speak?

  4. golightly September 26, 2011 at 10:19 pm

    attitude over ability

  5. DC June 25, 2012 at 9:57 pm

    Be it providence or design, I’d not heard that Vaccines song before. Jesus up a pole.

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