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 Everett True

The 21 Inviolate Rules of Music Criticism (2012 version)

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Band of Susans with Everett True

With thanks to Mof Gimmers, whose recent comment on this thread inspired this:

  1. Music critics are NOT fucking cool – never have been, never will be
  2. Music critics couldn’t give a shit about pleasing the crowd
  3. Music critics don’t give a shit about the Next Big Thing
  4. Music critics do not have friends
  5. Music criticism is not a stand-in for celebrity
  6. Music critics hate people who think everything’s OK really
  7. Music critics couldn’t give a fuck about getting their name on the door
  8. Music critics couldn’t give a fuck about pissing off ‘contacts’
  9. Music critics couldn’t give a fuck about impressing musicians
  10. Music critics couldn’t give a fuck about impressing readers
  11. Music critics couldn’t give a fuck about impressing themselves
  12. Music critics are not third-rate academics looking for some easy cash on the side
  13. Music critics couldn’t give a fuck about promotional budgets
  14. Music critics are not failed journalists
  15. Music critics are not failed musicians
  16. Music critics do not ‘meet and greet’
  17. Music critics do not hang out with other music critics
  18. Music criticism is not a stand-in for bedroom eyes
  19. Music criticism is not a band aid
  20. Music critics couldn’t give a fuck who they piss off
  21. Music critics DO NOT CARE about cool

Collapse Board: fighting to make music criticism unswervingly un-cool again.

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