Quantcast
 collapseboard

Sometimes forgettable, always horrible… Foo Fighters live in Brisbane

Sometimes forgettable, always horrible… Foo Fighters live in Brisbane
Decrease Font Size Increase Font Size Text Size Print This Page

By Milton Fiennes

Foo Fighters
Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane

Foo Fighters bum rush the stage to tumultuous applause from an awfully dressed, overweight crowd. They break into the first of many forgettable songs that only have 3 chords the entire time. There’s a 60-year-old guitarist nobody addresses. He looks like he’s won a competition to fuck a pornstar and can’t believe his luck. Second song starts. It’s the second song I learnt studying classical guitar in year 10. Nobody’s sued him because the rights have probably expired. It’s the same as the first song but from a different album. Taylor Hawkins looks like a doe-eyed Kurt minus the smack. A fresh new handbag for Dave to carry around. Kurt spins in his grave. Dave does an ego walk. Third song starts; it’s ‘Learn To Fly’. For a second you forget about how bad the first two songs were and then they superimpose an embossed frame over Dave’s face. Kurt rolls in his grave again. The stepdad guitarist smiles. The rest of the band looks pissed off. ‘Breakout’ is the fourth song. I don’t know how it’s possible to embellish this song even more but they manage to turn it into a carbon copy of the first two tracks. Oh wait here’s a blues solo. I think he might be 65. Kurt rolls in his grave yet again.

‘There Goes My Hero’ was an alright song a long time ago. It’s not when the bridge goes for 8 minutes. It had seven crash-out endings. I think Dave does 6 laps of the stage during this one. Now he’s sweaty and finished. He’s playing a blues progression and reminiscing about playing Big Day Out. I hope this story is going somewhere. It’s been about three minutes right now. Oh, he went to jail for drunk driving. Shame he’s not been impounded for public displays of sucking your own dick in front of a sold-out Suncorp Stadium crowd. Thanks for the moral lesson Dave. Kurt spins in his grave again. If this band isn’t cashing fat cheques from Gibson then I’ll sit down with a plate of my mouldy old Vans, get a knife and fork, and tuck in. The next three songs are forgettable. Dave knows. There are no ego walks for these.

It all melds into one arduous blues progression until they play ‘Monkey Wrench’. Oh hey, it’s ‘Monkey Wrench’. This was one of their biggest tracks in the 90s. The audience doesn’t care. It’s not ‘Best Of You’. Wait up. This song goes for like 4 minutes tops, right? This bridge alone is approaching the 15 minute mark. They’ve tried to turn it into Dark Side Of The Moon. It goes for a total of like 17 minutes. Now he’s yelling again. Oh wait this is still ‘Monkey Wrench’? Old mate that got to fuck a pornstar is smiling like he rused us all. You’ve only rused your own career and the population of Loganholme. The last chorus went for the length of the recorded song. It ended. No wait it can’t end without a drum solo. 30 seconds? 1 minute? He’s still going. It’s like they can’t actually decide when to ever end a song, or perhaps their careers.

Dave’s got the acoustic. Reckon this one’s about the miners? How much karma is he gonna get off this? Dave’s singing this one for the cheap seats, so he says. Makes sense because it’s definitely the Foo Fighters song that you’d pay the least amount of money to hear (read: $0). The band pops up on the middle of the ego ramp and Dave talks about how his high school band covered Queen. They then cover ‘Under Pressure’. I’m not sure if the biggest travesty is their rendition or the fact that nobody recognizes it’s a cover.

The set drags on for hours. The band reminds us that it’s two-and-a-half. This feels like detention. Thank god there are no encores. I’m not sure if the biggest wank was having 4 solos per track, or how Dave Grohl and Taylor Hawkins are seemingly trying to one-up each other by seeing who can open their giant fucking mouth widest to showcase their five-figure Napisan Oxy-Action veneers. You could actually land a jet in those abyssal gaping maws of quarter-assed musicianship.

Rock and Roll isn’t dead – it’s just in a coma and being wheeled around the country for a $200 entrance fee. Kurt rolls in his grave. There goes my hero, fleecing the music industry for all it’s worth. Watch him as he goes.

Foo Fighters live at Suncorp 2

Related posts: What I did tonight instead of seeing Foo Fighters play live
When nice people make horrible music | the collected Facebook Foo Fighters vitriol
Do not mess with the critic, deutschbags. The critic is always right

29 Responses to Sometimes forgettable, always horrible… Foo Fighters live in Brisbane

  1. Jizzy J February 25, 2015 at 7:05 pm

    snooze. Poor ET impression. Worse than FF.

  2. James February 25, 2015 at 9:32 pm

    Didn’t get your daily fisting then? artists are allowed to change their act for entertainement value this century. your boss needs to bullet you

  3. Brad February 25, 2015 at 11:13 pm

    Wow, you are one bitter, negative loser! All your critisims are so superficial and misguided. Those “ego walks” were so people further back actually get to experience the show close up. You’re complaining about guitar solos at a rock show? Critisising an older musician for decades of success? Comparing Taylor Hawkins to Kurt Cobain? You even insulted the entire crowd!

  4. mintys February 26, 2015 at 12:55 am

    I’m not a big FF fan, but srsly, that’s the lamest review ever – dude, why’d you ever go on that show if you hate that band so much?haters gonna hate, blah blah, but really? you spent money just to sit there and whine like a lil’ bitch – ain’t got nothin better to do in ur shitty life? you’re dumb as fuck, no doubt about it.

  5. Tope Onarope February 26, 2015 at 8:04 am

    a clever use of words young man but a terrible review overall.

    You sound very bitter & twisted dude and have obviously missed out on something spectacular right under your nose which perhaps happens often with you & is often attributed to people being ungrateful cunty douchelords

    good on youse Foo Fighters keep living your Rock n Roll dreams & entertaining Te World \m/

    THANKYOU

  6. Pantzz February 26, 2015 at 8:21 am

    Awesome! Such a great review, and then it just gets even better when you read the comments! So many hilariously angry people who don’t have the intelligence or taste to recognise that: A. Foo Fighters are truly awful awful excuse for a band, and: B. getting outraged and commenting on the review are contributing to its sucess! Keep up the good work Milton, you rule.

  7. ed February 26, 2015 at 12:45 pm

    Thought you’d enjoy this email I got from ‘Jamie Bauer’, possibly of Loganholme.

    Newandclassyhuh?PerhapsyoureditorshouldlookuptosewordsasMiltonFienneslatestreviewisneither. Heresthehottip,generalinsultsandslanderofanentiresuburb(andyeshediddothat)onlygotoshowthelackofactualwrittingabilityapersonhas.

  8. ed February 26, 2015 at 12:50 pm

    There’s also ‘Johnny Firecloud’ (possibly not his real name) on Twitter who wrote:

    “Hack planktons at @collapseboard have no idea how to write a proper negative concert review. This is cheap bullshit”

    and

    “@collapseboard it’s seriously embarrassing. I’ll drink a bottle of Wild Turkey & write circles around that dipshit, on a rollercoaster.”

    I was going to respond but he writes for someplace called Crave Online, whose About Us section starts with “CraveOnline is THE destination for all things men crave”. How do you even start?

  9. Gareth Raymour Harding February 26, 2015 at 12:56 pm

    Aweome review, the foo fighters have always been mediocre at best, the only good line up they had was when they had two members from sunny day real easte, now they only have nate and turns out they turned mediocre after william left, i pray nate leaves so sunny day real estate can reign supreme, diary is better than anything dave has every played on and will every play on

  10. ed February 26, 2015 at 12:59 pm

    What’s interesting is that normally you get the ‘Were you even at the same show?’ comments, whereas most of the people commenting here obviously weren’t there but seem unable to comprehend that a band they like could ever play a lousy show.

    Maybe they’d like the Double J review, which says a lot of the same things: http://doublej.net.au/news/reviews/big-meh-foo-fighters-great-but-frustrating-stadium-show

    Or perhaps some of the comments in the Brisbane Times review by unhappy people who didn’t enjoy the show: http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/entertainment/music/foo-fighters-brisbane-concert-review-band-rock-suncorp-stadium-20150225-13nxcr.html

  11. damien February 26, 2015 at 10:41 pm

    Knobhead. It was a top show. Sounds like you walked in with your head up your own arse.

  12. kja February 27, 2015 at 6:16 am

    Why the fuck did you even go to the show?
    Again… why the fuck… would you waste your time going to a show that you’d decided was shit before you even left the house? What a complete waste of a ticket. If you paid to go then the joke’s on you, fool! You obviously hate the band, and using the word hate, in your case, is being kind I would imagine.

  13. Armoured February 27, 2015 at 8:40 am

    Bit cheap taking shots at Pat Smear in the way you have done and as for Cobain ‘rolling in his grave’ comments well you should have realised that Dave Grohl isn’t Kurt Cobain sometime in the mid-90s for fuck sake.
    I don’t like the Foo Fighters and never have done but this review is awful on so many levels.

  14. kelly February 27, 2015 at 12:56 pm

    It was good concert I thought

  15. mike February 28, 2015 at 1:41 am

    Its funny how these days people try to pass complaining and whining off as journalism.

  16. Zeke February 28, 2015 at 1:48 am

    Aside from this persons opinion and hatred towards the band and the “overweight crowd” part, this article was very poorly written.. It’s sad to see how many 15 year old bloggers are employed these days..

  17. Gavin February 28, 2015 at 5:22 pm

    What a load dribble written by a no-name, trying to get clicks through shock value. I’m surprised he didn’t put OMG in the headline. Although he’ll get people to read the story, he did a disservice to collapseboard because it doesn’t take long for people to start ignoring stories that their friends share from sites they know write like a 13 year old, for a 13 year old. I’ll admit that the Brisbane gig wasn’t the best I’ve seen them, but it wasn’t remotely close to how it was portrayed on here.

    No offence if the writer is a 13 year old on work experience, which is a high possibility.

  18. Armoured March 1, 2015 at 12:36 am

    This ‘review’ of this show does sound like its been written by an early teen who has been teleported from circa 1995 to 2015 and just realised Dave Grohl and his middle of the road bro-‘rock’ grab-a-beer dull Foo Fighters isn’t Nirvana and that Dave Grohl isn’t Kurt Cobain.

    Most sane ppl realised this in the fucking mid 90s.

    You’ve had at least 15 or so years of warning how pedestrian the Foo Fighters are.

    I’m all for scathing reviews but this is just badly written , crap attempts at humour (Pat Smear is old LOL etc – jez…) and just bitchy and shit.

  19. jules March 1, 2015 at 10:59 am

    I went to the Sydney show and it was the best concert I have been to (of many). You sir are a fuckwit! That is all. I won’t waste my breathe any more on you ‘little person’.

  20. Lee March 4, 2015 at 1:19 am

    What a toolbag. Wait? What magazine or blog thing is this from? Never heard of it.

  21. Pingback: Foo Fighters Fans Are Shit-Kicking Piss-Babies (or The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) | David James Young writes...

  22. Matt Cooper March 5, 2015 at 7:43 pm

    People seem to feel personally insulted about this. It’s a good, funny review, it made me laugh. Not everyone has to like the Foos, I agree with most of what he’s saying. It’s just an opinion, stop getting offended!

  23. monkeyboy666 December 16, 2015 at 9:42 pm

    Gold!

    Foo Fighters have simply become some weird-arse hybrid of Coldplay and The Eagles with added distortion.

    Though they’ve got nothing on u2 fans, those pricks are vicious. Something to do with belonging to the cult of Bono. They won’t stand for a bad word to be said against their fearless leader and band. Kinda reminds me of the thai king or north korea in that kooky, but misguided loveable way. Crazy fucks.

  24. wildeyemusic January 17, 2016 at 9:48 pm

    I don’t understand the comments here. Based on the description it sounds like the all-time bestest stadium rock show in history, ever, of all time, and there’s a load of rather stupid people criticising the reviewer for slagging them of. Makes no sense.

    As someone who wasn’t there I have to say every word is spot on correct.

  25. Pingback: What is the point of art reviews? – Danny Brickwell's Yellow Boxes

  26. ChowderKeg84 October 7, 2016 at 5:15 pm

    The main thing that the article is about was his opinion of the Foos. Sure it may have needed work on how it was written, but opinions aside, he is spot on.

    They are user friendly, easy, relatable, and pretty much an over-rated T-Shirt of the week. I put the Foos in the same category as The Bare Naked Ladies (because of their stupid and “humorous” videos), The Offspring, and Everclear. There are many bands of those decades that didn’t he same thing. My problem lies with the fact that he flew in on the coattails of Cobain.

    Had ANY of the above mentioned bands had someone from a greater rockband in them people would have stuck with them. Truth is, musically they don’t even began to impress me. They are mediocre IF that. It’s already been played.

    Dave is a good singer? No. Freddie Mercury, Steve Perry, Brad Delp, Sabastian Bach, Robert Plant…THOSE are good singers. You wanna put them up there with the “best” you better research the competition.

    Dave is a good songwriter? No. He is repetitive and cookie-cutter. Every song is the same. David Bowie, Bob Dylan, Kurt Cobain, Lennon and McCartney…THESE are songwriters (even if their performance skills may lack to some).

    My biggest complaint about the Foos is how over-rated they are. They flat-out DO NOT belong being compared to the greats. They are NOT that good. So save the butt-hurt and do your research.

  27. Boo Long September 8, 2017 at 10:58 pm

    Perfect review. FF are utter opportunistic wank.
    I saw Nirvana once. They were OK. I’d never have predicted their becoming legendary thanks to a suicidal singer, but could never even have conceived of the drummer starting a mediocre rock band and it becoming even bigger!

  28. Leigh Ivin September 30, 2017 at 11:07 am

    Great review… and I thought I disliked the Foo Fighters. On a more friendly level, this band are corporate frat/bro rock made to order for the masses. I have never seen them, and never will, but I have dialled in a few of the live vids up and boy, is it stogey. I’ve always imagined Cobain turning in his grave – anybody who clocked his vibe on such things while he was alive would know how much he’d have hated FF. But whatever… look what he did with his success.

    As for the reviewer – you certainly got an opinion out there and you’re entitled to it. I’ve yet to find one that gushes.

    Horrible band.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *