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REVIEWED IN ABSTRACT: Bloc Party – Four (Frenchkiss)

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By Daniel Snazell Thackray (age 3)

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Related posts: THE REGULAR REVIEW: Bloc Party – Four (Frenchkiss)

41 Responses to REVIEWED IN ABSTRACT: Bloc Party – Four (Frenchkiss)

  1. tom_violence August 16, 2012 at 1:41 am

    Another boring, self satisfied hipster cunt review. Is it any wonder no one visits this drivel (he says, visiting this drivel). You’re losing your edge Mr True. Yes, lets be smug about Bloc Party and then try and shove some atonal Sarah records throwbacks down peoples throats as the future of music= good morning irrelevancy

  2. Everett True August 16, 2012 at 7:42 am

    And there was me thinking that this review was difficult to argue with…

  3. Golightly August 16, 2012 at 7:47 am

    I’m more entertained by this ‘boring’ review than I ever could be by any Bloc Party record.

  4. mike turner August 16, 2012 at 7:50 am

    hipster cunt says the guy named after a sonic youth song. hahahaha

  5. DC August 16, 2012 at 7:55 am

    The only problem with this review is it goes into too much detail.

  6. tom_violence August 16, 2012 at 8:23 am

    Hahaha says the guy named after an estate agent. Yeah because a band sogned to DGC for most of their career are a hipsters dream aren’t they? You can buy their t shirts in urban outfitters these days you clown. If I was being hipster I wouldve mentioned one of the sub-vaselines tune hating shit storms lauded on this website. Or I dunno. 4ummer Camp.

  7. eric_strip August 16, 2012 at 9:13 am

    Wait, Tom. I’m confused. If you can buy SY t-shirts in Urban Outfitters…and Urban Outfitters is universally known as a place where hipsters shop…then aren’t you, by choosing your pen-named from an SY song, knowingly outing yourself as a hipster? Also, I’d be more likely to believe the new Bloc Party album was worth listening to if you told us why it was good instead of calling people clowns or cunts.

  8. Wallace Wylie August 16, 2012 at 9:15 am

    “Sub-No Wave Tune Hating Shit Storm” was the original title of “Evol”.

  9. Everett True August 16, 2012 at 9:16 am

    Can someone please engage with the review, instead of resorting to simple name-calling? Did Daniel’s criticisms really cut that deep?

  10. Miquel Ramirez August 16, 2012 at 9:19 am

    This bit caught my eye:


    This was clearly written by someone using an european keyboard 🙂

  11. tom_violence August 16, 2012 at 9:20 am

    Blah blah blah says the person named after a shoddy sonic youth knock off. That’s even more hipster points by your logic. Trust me. True hipsters, the most dangerous kind, wouldn’t touch urban outfitters. They prefer jumble sales.I haven’t heard this bloc party record. I care not very much for their output after silent alarm-which was a fucking oasis in the desert of 2005 sub libertines horror- but I would lilke to actually read about the record and an opinion. Not this bitter snarky self congratulatory cuntishness. Its pathetic. But hey. Let’s all listen to slug guts! Urghh

  12. tom_violence August 16, 2012 at 9:23 am

    But hey. I aint gonna possibly win when I sound annoyingly earnest and you’re all sat around patting each others backs and cackling at your own dismissive genius like a shelf full of hateful indie professor yaffles.

  13. Wallace Wylie August 16, 2012 at 9:29 am

    It’s funny how a person who throws insults like “boring, self satisfied hipster cunt”, “drivel”, “smug”, “good morning irrelevancy”, “clown”, “bitter snarky self congratulatory cuntishness”can then accuse other people of being hateful.

  14. tom_violence August 16, 2012 at 9:31 am

    This whole reviews a massive fuxking insult to everyones collective intelligence so it deserves such a response. And if you think this sort of playground level critcism is amusing then yes. You are a prize cunt. And part of the problem.

  15. Wallace Wylie August 16, 2012 at 9:35 am

    I think Bloc Party are an insult to everyone’s collective intelligence. This is one small part of the internet where it was decided to do something funny with the Bloc Party review. You have thousands of other options right now. What you are demanding is collective sameness and predictability. You didn’t get it. You threw a little fit. At this point you are making yourself look like a prize cunt. Just pointing some very obvious things out.

  16. Golightly August 16, 2012 at 9:36 am

    I vote tom_violence to start writing reviews for collapse board… full of bile. Could counter-balance my penchant for writing love drenched reviews. Hire the troll immediately.

  17. Everett True August 16, 2012 at 9:53 am

    I agree with yr sentiments Golightly, but I actually think it’s unfair to call him a troll. All he’s doing is voicing an opinion.

  18. mike turner August 16, 2012 at 9:59 am

    wally violence is in his name, i wouldn’t expect less. i say give him a shot on some writing, we need more hacks on here.

  19. Max Robinson August 16, 2012 at 10:13 am

    I prefer The Gut Slutters to Bloc party every day apart form Thursday (today), when I love The Blocs. Leave them alone daniel, you twomple.


  20. Max Robinson August 16, 2012 at 10:20 am

    Actually, forget that, you’re all tossers.

  21. Derek Robertson August 16, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    Quick question. I get that none of you on here are likely to like Bloc Party, or have ever liked Bloc Party. That’s fine. And i get that, given that, this album was unlikely to receive any form of praise or positive comment whatsoever. Again, totally fine. But if you don’t like it, what’s the point in giving it free publicity and internet space with such a nonsensical “review”? Surely it would have been better to either a) ignore it completely or b) at least let someone like Creney destroy it using wit and intelligence? I completely fail to see the point of this.

    PS Not defending the band or this album (yet to listen), they’ve only done about 3 decent songs IMHO, and that’s me being kind.

  22. tom_violence August 16, 2012 at 8:06 pm

    my opinion may be open to derision Golightly (after Holly? Oh you!) but I would suggest you educate yourself on what a troll actually is rather than falling for the common old media misconception that its merely someone who uses bad words and doesnt share the same opinon than you on the internets.


    I genuinely think this was a snarky let down of a review. And no, I’m not some NME bloc party fanboy- the reason I know this website exists is because I used to get Careless Talk, Plan B etc religiously, even went to a few of the nights ET put on where i got to meet the bastard and buy some of his unwanted cds. Fuck, it was ET and Neil Kulkarni that practially got me into music when I used to steal my Dads Melody Maker back in the day.

    But blah blah blah- none of that changes the fact that this kind of smug shite is insulting. And the worst part is you know full well that if Bloc Party were on some obscure New Zealand record label and had 5 fans you suckers would be lapping this shit up. I hate anti populist dicks sniping from the side line and only attaching worth to something as long as NO FUCKER HAS EVER HEARD OF IT.

    Listen to Silent Alarm and tell me they werent a band at least worthy of having their record given the respect of a proper review…in fact no, pass me a Yong Marble Giants record so Iknow what really pwoper good indie music souzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  23. tom_violence August 16, 2012 at 8:08 pm

    Because they want traffic. And it worked. I played right into ETs devious hands. I sure as fuck wouldnt have clicked on a Cats on Fire review or some such thing. Machiavellian Genius.

    I get the feeling this place is almost exclusively full of Australians. I hope so. that would be amusing.

  24. tom_violence August 16, 2012 at 8:13 pm

    Plus what part of this did I not get William Wallace? ET jams his elbows into the keyboard in lieu of an actual review, smirks to himself and then presents it for the entire world to see with all the class of a toddler thats managed to write its own name in shit across the living room wall. ‘LOOK WHAT i DID!!!!!’ he cries and rather than point out what a dopey thing it is to do you all clap and pat him on the head and yourselves on the backs at ‘getting it’. congratulations

  25. VideoBuddha August 16, 2012 at 8:28 pm

    I’m struggling with Tom Violence’s “The lady doth protest too much” like contortions which on one hand aim to convince us he really doesn’t like Bloc party very much but still has clicked on the review on this very board, and yet on the other hand has read Plan B, Careless talk, loved True/Kulkarni era Melody maker but hates “anti-populist” sniping and doesn’t like people attaching value to “bands no-one has ever heard of”?

    Surely the joy of Plan B was opening up a magazine and finding out new and wonderful bands I’d never bloody heard of. Yes there wasn’t always a high hit rate, but half the fun of music is sifting through the mediocre for that one diamond. If Bloc Party and their ilk were any good I wouldn’t have to come to boards such as this to find an alternative, I could simply accept the whole glorious A&R process actually works and is pure and unsullied by motives as grubby as money and wanting to get inside the singer’s pants. And as for “atonal” Sarah records? If Sarah records output had been more atonal I for one would have found it more bloody interesting and less saccharine.

    Smells like Bloc Party PR getting their knickers in a twist to me. Mais non?

  26. VideoBuddha August 16, 2012 at 8:35 pm

    Or perhaps Tom Violence is some nefarious part of ET’s deluded imagination to stir debate and drag people onto this board, and his whole comment about “driving traffic” is double bluff…. but then that would mean… oh my brain hurts

  27. mike turner August 16, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    i still find it most amusing that you called an actual toddler a hipster cunt. just wait till you read the review of the divine fits record my dog did.

  28. Val Kincaid August 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

    My grandson loves Bloc Party, and I read this because of that connection. This ‘review’, damning them, taking the mickey out of them by implying that they’re not good enough to actually write about, is cheap and tawdry. Grow up, young man.

  29. tom_violence August 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    Yeah because this was really done by a child wasnt it. Har de har har. Pipe down Mike.

  30. Everett True August 16, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    Tom, couple of pieces of context.

    If you followed me on Facebook – and there’s no reason why you should – you’d understand that my son had actually been typing in the above collection of letters into my Facebook feeds. I, of course, supplied the edit and the setting. Everyone here comes here from Facebook pretty much, so inter-site jokes don’t usually need to be explained.

    Why did I do it? It’s good not to take yourself too seriously sometimes. I have nothing against Bloc Party, per se. I happen to know they have a new album out because Sean from Drowned In Sound (the only man I follow on Twitter) was going on about it in his Twitter feed. I didn’t for one second think anyone would be offended by what was so clearly nonsense.

    Here’s another piece of context. There are very few Australians here on Collapse Board right now.

    And here’s the last piece of context: REVIEWED IN PICTURES Lady Gaga – Born This Way (Polydor/Interscope)

    I like to experiment with the form.

    P.S. Leave off Tom. He’s OK. I have no idea why he thinks this review is smug, however. I suspect it’s because he didn’t understand the context.

  31. Everett True August 16, 2012 at 9:53 pm

    Having said all that, I did enjoy the following comments left on Facebook:

    Neil Kulkarni I see a dolphin.

    James Draven Apparently Daniel has already lost his edge. When were the golden years of D. Thackray’s music criticism?

    James Draven God, you’re in for a Falco-esque irate response on the band’s blog when they read the bit about ttttttttttttttttttttvtbrgvbeebr ve4b444bwf544443h55b! It wasn’t meant as an homage to beebr, in fact they were opposed to the whole thing.

    Perhaps James might enjoy writing for Collapse Board?

  32. tom_violence August 16, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    yes but the Gaga one works because it IS funny and not just dismissive and insulting. Maybe im a hypocrite. If this was a band I didnt care for at all then I would probably have been chortling along with everyone else. Maybe its because I still have (on) golden (pond) memories of Natalie the angry jewish princess who I lived next door to in halls asking me to finger her arse for the first time while ‘So Here we Are’ was playing and so I think Bloc Party will forever have a precious place in my brain. I dont know. I dont actually care. I just get intermittent rages when I read some things and this provoked one of them .

  33. tom_violence August 16, 2012 at 10:34 pm


    I didnt care for alot of the bands covered in Plan B or CTcl but it didnt matter because the writing (most of it)transcended the artists and was worth reading in its own right. Good music writing does that or should do.

    and it is possible to like obscure bands and still hate anti-populist snobs you know.

    bloc partys pr? no offence to all involved here but do you really think they could give a fuck about this review? to summarise

    1) I quite like BloC Party
    2) i used to love ETs writing
    3) I hate snarky hipster snobs
    4) I mostly hate any band that sounds like they could be on fortuna pop or appear at indietracks festival
    5) the only album I brought released this year was the Nicki Minaj one
    6) Sarah records bands were good back in the day but there is no place now for self aware, self concious librarian types with bad pullovers and even worse genital hygiene to be picking up guitars and dreaming of nothing more than a two seven inch deal with slumberland

    I just realised though thats why this site hates TPOBPAT so much though- its like having a mirror held up to them and the view aint pretty.

  34. Everett True August 16, 2012 at 10:44 pm

    You might enjoy this Collapse Board review then, Tom.

    Nicki Minaj – Pink Friday Roman Reloaded (Universal)

  35. tom_violence August 17, 2012 at 3:02 am

    i did enjoy that alot. Thankyou

  36. mike turner August 17, 2012 at 4:19 am

    after reading tom’s number system i’m coming around to liking this guy. i love lists, and tend to approve of list making in general although at times i will skip numbering and go alphabetical using letters. so to voice opinions.
    a] good for you
    b] i think it’s still good, in fact this review was one of my favs
    c] you must have an industry job or something as to develop hate for it you’d have to be around it a lot. i feel yr pain i live in a college town which makes me not like college kids to some degree.
    d] indietracks always has a few good ones, however i think i get what you mean though, maybe more of bands who their only goal is to maybe be on that label or play that festival?
    e] again good for you.
    f] sarah sucked in the day as well. take that back boyracer was good, the rest ehhhhhhhh.

    i might suggest maybe a name change to tom_annoyance as the violence never really played out on here.

  37. Golightly August 18, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    You mean this is your actual opinion, not an attempt at attention-seeking obnoxiousness Mr Violence? And the name Golightly was given to me for hitting the drums so hard that my fingers bled while playing in a New Wave band called Killerdolls, thanks for enquiringly (I used to have to tape them up)… but it stuck probably because it has a ring to it being so similar to Holly Golightly from Breakfast At Tiffany’s.

    Regardless, ET, I would actually welcome a troll style reviewer, even if it’s not TV who gets the job… but he does type his insults with real eloquence that I can’t help but be impressed/amused by, so what I said about him writing still stands.

  38. Tom August 19, 2012 at 10:09 am

    TPOBPOH suck because they’d consider it sacrament to be ejaculated on by Billy Corgan. That’s the exact opposite of the sort of ambition that you yourself attribute to the cutie / twee / Sarah types.

    And if you want to impugn the hygiene of a class of persons and liberally drop the c-bomb, see how far that gets you in escaping the tag “troll”.

    You’re ignorant of the context. You jumped to conclusions. Populist music gets a lot of love here, when it’s good. And, in any event, no-one here thinks we have to be balanced, fair, or conventional. This isn’t journalism. Aside from these misfires, the meat of your argument seems to be that there is no merit in reviewing good bands that aren’t particularly popular. In which case, you can go fuck yourself.

    And it seems ridiculous to be arguing about shit like this when there are things happening right now of gravity and worthy of real vitriol.

  39. tom_violence August 22, 2012 at 8:50 pm

    Yes Tom we are not allowed to talk about anything except Pussy Riot and child poverty. Do fuck off!

  40. DC August 24, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    This made me laugh. Unsure if it is genuine (the fellow commentators take it on face value, but you never know…). Bloc Party drummer panhandling for an album chart #1.


  41. Pingback: How NOT to write about music – 143. Vira Talisa Dharmawan | How NOT to write about music

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