Everett True

Pandora – Free Internet Radio | A Cautionary Tale

Pandora – Free Internet Radio | A Cautionary Tale
Decrease Font Size Increase Font Size Text Size Print This Page

So I tried Pandora just now. Its slogan is: Listen to Free Internet Radio. Find New Music. I was psyched.

So I typed in The Legend!… and got this response:

“To start things off, we’ll play a song that exemplifies the musical style of The Legend! which features hard rock roots, extensive vamping, minor key tonality, dirty electric guitar riffs and an aggressive male vocalist.”

So then I typed in Tunabunny… and it suggested I should follow one Christy Sweeden Coyle, who likes “Dr. Dre, D12, Fort Minor, Bad Meets Evil”.

So then I typed in The Deadnotes… and it suggested I should listen to The Dead Bodies, whose musical style features “acoustic rock instrumentation, a subtle use of vocal harmony, mild rhythmic syncopation, acoustic rhythm piano and acoustic sonority”.

So then I typed in Hot Fruit… and it suggested that a similar song (by MGMT) that “features a subtle use of vocal harmony, minor key tonality, electric rhythm guitars, acoustic rhythm guitars and subtle use of acoustic piano”.

So then I typed in Chastity Belt… and it suggested a track that’s “comedically similar” to Chastity Belt called ‘Buttermilk/A Little Game’, that features “food humor, satirical observations, jokes appropriate for a family audience, comedy from the 50s and many other comedic similarities”.

So then I typed in Thee Open Sex… and it suggested I should listen to something called Sovereign GigglePuffs Radio (“still more interesting than your boyfriend”), which seems to feature an awful lot of U2, Steve Winwood and The Killers.

So then I stopped trying Pandora.

Thee Open Sex Photography: Alison Eden Copeland

4 Responses to Pandora – Free Internet Radio | A Cautionary Tale

  1. Harvey Manfrenjensenden August 10, 2013 at 3:23 am

    I haven’t used Pandora for like three years but I remember it being sort of amusing and having pretty big selection of music.

  2. joe August 10, 2013 at 11:01 am

    Jerry, Pandora actually has one of the smallest libraries of any online service due to the fact that they like to use ‘musicology’ to do their song matching, moods, etc. Maybe just a few million songs in total. Also, their service is of the non-interactive radio type, where they might give you the band you want ever 4-8 songs, in a ‘radio-style’ playlist. Most people I know tire of it quickly.

    Other services are deeper – 18-25mm songs at Rdio, Rhapsody, MOG, et al. While these services focus on on-demand full album streaming, they are working on making a better, pandora-like radio expereience for their listeners who want a lean-back, discovery, experience.

    Picking on Pandora with these cool, hip, underground bands is neat and all, but it’s not a fair fight, especially for someone who knows about the coolest, newest, most underground (lovingly) shit, first.

    Also, it’s up to the bands/labels/etc to get their titles into these services, thanks to all the rights complications, so if the bands above want to be in Pandora, they should probably send their music to Oakland.


  3. Emma August 10, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    I love pandora. I’ve had to thumbs down an awful lot, but have discovered artists and songs that I didn’t know or hadn’t listened to (kinda like reading collapse board). It can be a little repetitive too, once you’ve thumbs up a song, you will then hear it in every available live version or remix. Thumbs up CB!

  4. Harvey Manfrenjensenden August 10, 2013 at 7:18 pm

    My band has come up on Pandora multiple times for me while listening to other things, I guess other “guitar pop” bands or whatever, so I’m not sure how the distro thing works with them. It’s certainly not strictly through normal digital distro channels or I would have known about it. I guess that’s not very helpful?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.