Everett True

One-word reviews? Here are 20 more

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Mumford & Sons

In her recent blog entry, Princess Stomper argues: 

A review should explain:

1. What’s it like? (Why should you like it?)
2. Is it good – does it succeed at what it’s trying to do?
3. Why?

One word, no matter how apt, cannot communicate that information.

I beg to differ. Witness, and pay tribute at the throne of the One, the Only, the True Word.

The Vaccines – shite

Kings Of Leon – shite

Coldplay – boringshite

Howler – shite

Real Estate – shite

Foo Fighters – shite

Editors – dullshite

Interpol – shite

Zwan – shite

Mumford & Sons – tripleshite

Gotye – shite

Snow Patrol – shite

Nickelback – shite

The Horrors – retroshite

Smash Mouth – shite

The Cranberries – patronisingshite

Third Eye Blind – shite

Summer Camp – shite

Elbow – shite

Fleet Foxes – ha’a’wayandshite

Related posts:
1001 Albums You Should Die Before You Hear, pt 1
NME introduces the one-word music review
Two hundred albums reviewed in a single word

11 Responses to One-word reviews? Here are 20 more

  1. Roger Nelson January 21, 2012 at 9:49 pm

    Agree with most. Apart from Mumford and Sons. Should be Infinityshite.

  2. Princess Stomper January 22, 2012 at 12:13 am

    I bow to your superior wisdom, sir.

  3. Paul January 22, 2012 at 8:15 am

    Hate to be pedantic but boring shite and patronising shite are two words rendering the whole argument redundant.

  4. Princess Stomper January 22, 2012 at 8:36 am

    What about sonicarchitectureofthehighestcalibre?

  5. Paul January 23, 2012 at 5:27 am

    Well that’s at least 6 words but does at least have some journalistic merit.

  6. jackson January 23, 2012 at 6:59 am

    real estate is simple and pleasant, it isn’t really shite. how could anyone hate them? the rest i agree with though.

  7. Alex November 19, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    Yeah yeah, this thread is over, but I’ve just seen it and have forgotten who wrote the series of one-word reviews of Paul Weller in (I forget) either NME or MM for at least a couple of singles from Uh Huh Oh Yeah onwards? Pretty sure the first one was “Prat”. Not a letter wasted, nor more needed.

  8. Everett True November 19, 2012 at 7:25 pm

    it was me. Wait, here’s a link to a bit of the back story.

  9. Joseph Kyle November 20, 2012 at 10:35 am

    yes, but the question is: are Blur still shite?

  10. The Bespectacled Guy May 5, 2013 at 7:54 am

    Wow. Just wow. You take a list of bands, most of whom are admittedly bad, some of whom are not, label them all as ‘shite’ in one form or another, and expect that to qualify as humour?

    Elbow and Snow Patrol both have fantastic songs, and have been *ahem* instrumental in creating the British arena rock sound, with incredible songs like ‘Chasing Cars’ and ‘One Day Lke This’. You’re also making way too much of a generalisation by saying all their music is bad. Both bands have a very lengthy discography, during which they have implemented many different sounds, and their more obscure tracks are often the better ones.

    Oh, yes, and OF COURSE Mumford & Sons are on there. Because winning a Grammy wasn’t enough to make the critics so much as call their judgment into question.

    And the words ‘Fleet Foxes’ and ‘shite’ should not even be contained in the same article as each other, let alone used as an adjective for their music.

  11. Dan May 6, 2013 at 4:03 am

    *sniggers into cupped hand*

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