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10 ways Kim Kardashian’s tits are killing you

10 ways Kim Kardashian’s tits are killing you
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By the (new) Collapse Board Editors

Since Everett True is unable to supply the volume of readers the publishers of Collapse Board require, the editor has been replaced by Alan Smithee from AdSmarter Publishing. Alan would like to offer readers a preview of the next issue of Collapse Board.

About 10% of Collapse Board’s content will be “lifestyle” items designed to reflect issues of concern to our readers. Items to look forward to include “Kim Kardashian’s Thought For The Day”, “This Everyday Item Is Silently Killing You” and “10 Shocking Things Some Asshole You’ve Never Heard Of Said On His Blog”. We will, of course, have live updates on the most important stories, full coverage of the Bieber-Prince Wills boxing match, endless nostalgia lists of things you ignored 10 years ago, and 2,500 pictures of slow lorises getting tickled.

It goes without saying that all music content – which will constitute at least 15% of Collapse Board’s articles – will be curated using the latest tools to tell us what you, the reader, really want. Expect extensive features on Exile On Main Street (metascore: 100%), Weezer’s Pinkerton (100%), Smashing Pumpkins’ Siamese Dream (96%) and Bruce Springsteen’s The Promise (94%). Inevitably, we won’t be able to feature any new releases until their aggregate scores have been finalized, but we think you’ll appreciate having all content pre-scored so that you no longer run the risk of appearing uncool by liking the wrong album.

The remaining 75% will be comprised of pictures of dogs in wigs.

zelda cave dog costume at halloween24.com

Kim Kardashian image: Glenn Francis @ PacificProDigital.com / Dog costume: Halloween24.com

6 Responses to 10 ways Kim Kardashian’s tits are killing you

  1. Golightly August 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    This is the best headline ever.

  2. DC August 15, 2012 at 12:24 am

    When this was tweeted at 5.30am (UK time) this morning I laughed milk up through my nose.

  3. larry August 15, 2012 at 4:31 am

    Collapse board is getting much better….

  4. ed August 15, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    I just had to check to make sure you hadn’t just plagiarised triple j magazine’s media kit! http://www.newscustompublishing.com.au/storage/tjm.media.kit_28_March.pdf

  5. Everett True August 15, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    I just had to check to make sure you hadn’t just plagiarised triple j magazine’s media kit!

    *likes*

  6. matt August 29, 2012 at 9:25 am

    home tits are killing musix

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