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 Everett True

Everett True’s 12 favourite all-male albums of 2012

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The School

I know I’ve said that albums are a devalued currency. Doesn’t mean that they don’t still have worth. Plus, none of Collapse Board’s fucking contributors – except for Mike – have actually sent in a “best of 2012” list yet. If an album is in here, it means that it’s featured heavily on my headphones this year. I’m not necessarily including all the ones I rate, just the ones I’ve been playing lots. So yes, it probably veers towards retro and easier listening. (Which I guess is a given anyway, bearing in mind that all the bands in this list are male.)

These are in order of estimated plays because, bugger it, today music IS a competition.

1. Dexys – One Day I’m Going To Soar
According to my iTunes folder I’ve played one of the songs from this album – Daniel (age 3)’s favourite, the searingly singable ‘Now’ – 610 times. And who am I to argue with that?

2.  The School – Reading Too Much Into Things Like Everything
According to iTunes, just a miserly 109 plays for ‘It’s Not The Same’, a song so simultaneously joyful and melancholy it makes me forget I miss Dusty Springfield.

3. M. Ward – A Wasteland Companion
Let’s check the iTunes count meter: 1,472 plays for ‘I Get Ideas’, the intricately detailed love song which I prefer to think might be directed at a small child (and before YOU get ideas, I don’t mean THAT kind of love). I’m beginning to wonder if there might be something up with iTunes.

4. Lee Ranaldo – Between The Times & The Tides
Just 14 plays for the song no one is calling “R.E.M. if they were any good whatsoever”? That doesn’t sound nearly enough.

5. Nude Beach – II
I played this album a lot when I was imagining hanging out with the sun-kissed jocks that populate Queensland’s beaches. Uh. That’s a lie. Probably not as big a lie as the iTunes count: 189 plays for the effervescent ‘Radio’.

6. Royal Headache – Royal Headache
I like that Nude Beach album a whole lot. Indeed I like that Nude Beach album a whole lot more than is healthy for such an avowed Vampire Weekend hater. This is the album that I clearly thought I was listening to when I was listening to the Nude Beach album. Rampant genius, but only 24 plays for ‘Never Again’? 27 now. No, 28.

7. Katie Got Bandz – Bandz And Hittaz
More balls than Wembley Stadium. No plays showing on iTunes which is arrant nonsense, as I’ve had this misanthropic BEAST of a drill-wave album on solid repeat for three days now.

8. The Twerps – The Twerps
Honestly? I’ve only played one song from this, the slow burning crackle of ‘Who Are You’. But according to iTunes, I’ve played it 1,345 times.

9. The Babies – Our House On The Hill
Oh fuck. They ain’t all-male, are they? Still. Who’s counting? (iTunes count: 1 for the Lemonheads good ‘Mess Me Around’.)

10. The Bastards Of Fate – Who’s A Fuzzy Buddy?
More male than the USPS. More bastardly then the Royal Family. More plays than… let me see… Bat For Lashes. (21 for the crazy confusion of ‘Digging Up Dinosaurs’ at the latest count.)

11. Joey Ramone – Ya Know?
Just 15 plays for heart-wrenching ‘Waiting For That Railroad’? Pitiful. Let’s just hope he wasn’t waiting for Grand Funk Railroad cos he would have been sorely disappointed.

12. The Pharmacy – Stoned & Alone
I’ve listened to the upbeat and smashing powerpop ballad ‘Josephine’ for 14 minutes, 24 seconds now. The song is 1 minute 36 seconds long. You do the maths (and drop the ‘s’ if you’re from America).

P.S. Yes, I know not all the bands are all-male. Sorry, I did try my hardest.
P.P.S. This list isn’t in order. Not at all.
P.P.P.S. Except for the Dexys one. And The School one.
P.P.P.P.S. And Lee Ranaldo.

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