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 Everett True

what I love about the Internet

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Of course, these people have always existed. But never before have they been given such an opportunity to VENT.

Last night, I received this string of comments from Psychoboy in response to this post.

Submitted on 2011/03/29 at 12:29 am
Okay… wow … pretty intense for just hating one song … I get that way about certain songs, myself … you know…those songs done by hollywood rockstar posers who get dressed up by their record companies and then they just do like a different version of an earlier single hoping to recapture that success. Fine I can see the intensity of hating a song … You go, boy! But … there’s just one thing that you hinted that really pissed me off … You hinted that even though there is no such thing as the worst song ever, you still qualified The Cranberries, “I Just Shot John Lennon” as one. Well, I happen to like the song, dick weed. I didn’t care too much for it at first, and I really didn’t give a rat’s a$$ about John F*ckin’ Lennon, but Dolores admires him … so I tolerate him and eventially the “I Just Shot John Lennon” song took hold of me and especially the play of rhyming Dolores uses in the chorus became very catchy, so … from one experienced music critic to another, listen to it a few more times before you’re ready to nominate it for the worst song ever … and stop t’inking about John Lennon when you listen to it … T’ink of Dolores, Goddess of Song ;)

Submitted on 2011/03/29 at 12:43 am
You’re a complete shmuck. I’m saying this because here you are bashing on Dolores O’Riordan, the most talented artist that has ever toured the globe … talent equivalent to any two of the beatles. Then i become confused at the end of your critic … or are you not bashing on her.

- yet still oddly and horribly fascinating, like going to see Hanging On for a fifth time

Your sarcasm completely escaped me because I have no idea what “Hanging On” was like, nor do I wish to run to the video store to see what it’s about just to understand whether you “are” or “are not” bashing on her. I love your passion and fire on your critiques, but you’re missing somet’ing. People like me see Dolores a lot more differently than you do. Try taking that into consideration. Try being a critic for us and not just your arrogant self ;)

Submitted on 2011/03/29 at 12:48 am
btw, if you don’t post my comment, then you are such a dick … then you can ask yourself, who’s being the communist now, eh?

Submitted on 2011/03/29 at 1:15 am
Hey you little dipshit wipe … Hell has a fucking hand basket for you. Everett True dumbass. You are a cartoon character. Why do you hate Dolores so much? You pompous english fuck? What happened? Got kicked out of your own country for being a dick so you decided to hit the seattle grunge scene? Ooooh, you introduced cobain to love … two fucking god damn losers who ain’t shit today … no t’anks to you. You know all these people in the industry, but how the fuck did you end up being a fucking journalist? “I do not consider myself a journalist”, you say. You fucking pompous idiot … why? because journalists are beneath you? Give us a reason instead of trying to sond cool in your author’s spotlight. Why do you hate Dollores so much, fuck face? Because she has the ability to see the evil son of a bitch in you and will have not’ing to do wit’ you? You may have pulled the wool over Curt and courtney’s eyes, but Dolores is wa-ay to shrewed for a failed musician turned journalist – excuse me, “music critic” like you because it is what you do. If you t’ink that sounds cool, then you are a straight loser. Everyone has the ability to critic, asshole. So Dolores wouldn’t let you near her, huh? Because everyt’ing about you is a fascade. I read your whole bio and you sound like a loser wit’ his ego cut of … ”Ooooh!”, you say. “I ran wit’ the big names! I shook hands wit’ the best!” I’m a critic! That’s what I do!” Tell me did you jerk off Curt cobain, too? You ain’t nobody. Dolores is a goddess. She possesses every attribute a god would possess. All the t’ings that you don’t because it seems as if not that many people believe in you, now do they? If they did … you wouldn’t just be the journalist that you are. And maybe that’s why you’re angry. Grow up, fag boy. Dolores O’Riordan Rocks!

(continues overleaf)

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5 Responses to what I love about the Internet

  1. Hannah Golightly March 29, 2011 at 8:20 am

    S&M baby!

  2. Everett True March 29, 2011 at 8:51 am

    (from Facebook)

    Joseph Kyle
    i dont know whether to laugh or cry.

    Lucy Gulland
    Fuck yeah! Wow, you slag off Arcade Fire and Radiohead and Kings of sodding Leon, but it is a CRANBERRIES fan who goes postal. Who sees through the, er, fascade. I’m scared of Dolores now. (I remember reading the Cranberries’ article you’n'Taylor wrote: it still makes snort with laughter.)

    Lee McFadden
    When I used to write music reviews for the Morning Star the only peice of vitriol I received was from a fan in Cyprus who had googled my article. She was defending to the death the album I had slagged off – twas a Proclaimers one.

    Wallace Wylie
    I remember it too. I remember just about shitting myself I laughed so much. I think this may have been written by Dolores.

    Everett True
    Dolores used to employ very similar language whenever my name came up in conversation. There was a two-year period when she refused to speak to Melody Maker except to make personal attacks on my mother.

    Lucy Gulland
    Oh dear, what an idiot she really was. Poor stupid cross Dolores. Was Melody Maker really clamouring to talk to her in those two years though? I’ve lost any sense of how big/relevant/worth talking to the Cranberries were: they seem such wretched nonentities from here. Btw, the reason on your list for hating her that resonated most with me was her voice. It could have been such a beautiful thing. And she fucking wasted it. I was almost fond of her for her lyrics, they were so monstrously poor.

    Wallace Wylie
    I preceptively knew that these comments wouldn’t be nice. In 2011 we all paid the price. Traboo, traboo, traboo.

  3. Keir Hardie March 29, 2011 at 8:11 pm

    The bit about ‘any two of The Beatles’ is genius.

  4. Princess Stomper March 30, 2011 at 3:55 am

    I’m sure that his rational arguments have completely changed your opinion and you are right now in the middle of an obsequious apology to a certain Cranberry.

  5. Everett True March 30, 2011 at 11:19 am

    Believe me. I’ve thought of doing nothing but for the last 15 years.

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