COLLAPSE BOARD

22 Responses to “my advice for aspiring music critics”

1. James Pusey says:

   October 6, 2010 at 1:29 am

   This has actually made me want to keep going.
2. Andrew McMillen says:

   October 6, 2010 at 6:29 am

   Great photo.
3. Letters to Jerry: writing about music « Reinspired says:

   October 6, 2010 at 7:02 am

   [...] Re: My Advice For Aspiring Music Critics [...]
4. Princess Stomper says:

   October 6, 2010 at 7:07 am

   My response: http://reinspired.wordpress.com/2010/10/05/letters-to-jerry-writing-about-music/
5. zel says:

   October 6, 2010 at 7:20 am

   yay! mad clapping ensues.
6. tomfiend says:

   October 6, 2010 at 9:01 am

   I’d be lying if I said I weren’t guilty of a few of those. All good points to look out for, god knows I’m prone to lengthy diatribes. ha
7. Bianca says:

   October 6, 2010 at 9:16 am

   That really is a great photo

   Fantastic advise too. I wish this was around when I started out.
8. theevipvop says:

   October 6, 2010 at 10:21 am

   ’10. No one gives a fuck what you think. Get over it.’

   This should be taken as life advice.
9. Everett True says:

   October 6, 2010 at 12:30 pm

   This is pretty good stuff.
10. Georgia says:

    October 6, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    #22 comes with a disclaimer – people may try to sleep with you knowing that you have access to the musicians. That doesn’t mean you’re going to give them access. In either form.
11. Everett True says:

    October 6, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    Yeah well. Of course. I just didn’t want to let on.
12. Polly Birkbeck says:

    October 6, 2010 at 4:36 pm

    I NEVER lie!
    Yes that is a GREAT picture
13. Darragh says:

    October 6, 2010 at 7:57 pm

    Oh shit, I’m fucked!
14. WEBTHUMP! 6 October 2010 | Hecklerspray says:

    October 6, 2010 at 9:01 pm

    [...] 6. The legendary Everett True gives short, sharp advice to aspiring music critics. Wise and funny. – Collapse [...]
15. Fortz Hard says:

    October 7, 2010 at 7:35 am

    Rule 666: DON’T WRITE UNREADABLE BOOKS ABOUT SHIT MUSIC MADE BY SHITHEAD SMACKIES eg: LIVE THROUGH THIS: ROCK MUSIC IN THE 90s..
16. Cynicism is not wisdom « Reinspired says:

    October 7, 2010 at 6:04 pm

    [...] Gimmers wrote an interesting response to Everett True’s advice for aspiring music critics and again it affected me very deeply because of all the reasons I got out. I think there are wider [...]
17. Ian Rogers says:

    October 27, 2010 at 11:34 am

    I try and describe the music as seldom as possible when writing a music review. It’s boring. The way musicians look and act is much more interesting. I often make jokes about what people sing in songs but they’re mainly for my own benefit.

    That’s the secret of my success.

    Also, 800+ words is good. Less than 300 words is ad copy. Unless you’re Christgau. Then less than 50 words is a beautiful beam of light. Or a laser cutting your guts open. Depending on his mood.

    #48 deserves it’s max caps highlighting.

    ET writes good reviews. I read them. Seemed like an important point.
18. True Story - Complottoemezzo says:

    November 8, 2010 at 12:13 am

    [...] ma di questa non è che ce ne freghi poi molto. Oggi che ha cinquant’anni c’è il suo meme spaccamaroni sui consigli ai giovani critici musicali, ma in fondo di questo me ne frega ancora meno. In mezzo a [...]
19. Ed says:

    November 12, 2010 at 2:29 pm

    A fun list to read, but I reckon #13 (“Don’t ever try to describe the music”) is a bit of ultra-mild, conservative advice – an encouragement to back away from thinking about the sound itself, and play it safe by writing ‘around’ the edges instead. Sure, almost no one writes well when describing sound (I certainly can’t do it well!), but I think this is exactly what the best music writing does: somehow approximating and conjuring noise anew on the page, and telling us what is special about a piece of music, not through simple valuation but by a kind of writerly demonstration/invocation of the music. If you back away from this, well, that can be fine and entertaining too, but it’d be a good thing if more people could get their chops around the main thing, the sound, rather than all the other stuff. Even the sound of the worst types of corporate pop music is there to be interestingly described if you’ve got the chops (or care to develop them).
20. Everett True says:

    November 13, 2010 at 6:49 am

    I threw that one in, Ed, because most usually the words the critic uses to describe the music are cliché, tantamount to running a list of every last band-member’s full name. Worse than nonsense.
21. Vitaminic – Dieci post musicali del 2010 che vorreste portarvi nel 2011 says:

    December 3, 2010 at 8:54 pm

    [...] MY ADVICE FOR ASPIRING MUSIC CRITICS Non è sexy, non è di tendenza e non ti farà rimorchiare. Una delle cose più terribili della stampa musicale, in senso allargato, è la mancanza di un dibattito in merito alla metodologia. A un certo punto Everett True si mette in testa di fissare su carta (metaforicamente parlando) 50 consigli utili per chi aspira ad esser critico musicale. Non sei sicuro del significato di una frase che hai scritto? Non sarai l’unico. Per la maggior parte sono indicazioni preziosissime, che contraddicono macroscopicamente un grasso 98% delle cose di musica che leggiamo di giorno in giorno e scatenano un dibattito sanguinolento sui network. Simone Rossi lo ha tradotto in italiano, i blogger si sono scatenati per un paio di settimane scrivendo decaloghi alternativi e regole in aggiunta. Nel farlo hanno implicitamente pisciato sulle premesse ideologiche della lista originale di Ev. [...]
22. Luke says:

    February 20, 2011 at 5:50 am

    Well, it seems that you think in rainbows its not a good record which eventually leads us to:

    1) You didnt hear it enough.
    2) You are deaf.
    3) You didnt hear it enough becuase you are deaf and clearly no one gives a fuck what you think.

    Others advices seems worth but then again? who is this guy? what am i missing? the thing about the stones? fail.