Do not mess with the critic, deutschbags. The critic is always right

Here is the opening paragraph of what I wrote on Collapse Board, the night before we ran a review of Foo Fighters live at Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane.

I do not believe a bad live review affects a band’s sales or reputation. Certainly not a band the size of Foo Fighters, able to play Brisbane’s Suncorp Stadium (capacity 52,500). If anything, a bad review helps shore up the fans – they can unite in their condemnation of the idiot fuckhead’s opinion, possibly bond in the knowledge that the world doesn’t understand them but Foo Fighters do, rail in the injustice of it all. The indifferent will remain that way, possibly mildly amused by the review (depending on its quality). The haters will find solace, but they wouldn’t have bought the merch or the tickets or the music anyway.

Here is a sample of what the Foo Fighters fans wrote back.

• Are you australian? Seems unfair just to call you a cunt when i can call you a retarded convict cunt. You truly are one.
• i am not even a fan of the Foos, nor do i know lots of songs of them but i saw them live and its not that i can disagree with his rant because it’s so obvious that it’s not really about the show or the music why he is writing so much bullshit, that guy clearly has a problem with his own life and never got out of his teenage nirvana time, so he is full of frustration and hate and needed a way to let it out… he is a poor guy, we shouldnt blame him. retarded people are not bad just because they are different… we should offer him help…
• Just another bored piece of shit attention whore with nothing else to write about.. Well done knob gobbler.. Well done.
• Interesting read bud, the Foo Fighters play countless sold out shows all over the world. Lucky for you you probably used your bullshit “I’m writing a piece on the band” line to get yourself into the show. Go back to music class, learn more chord progressions, then put out great music spanning close to three decades, then I’ll read another one of your piss poor articles.
• You are a cunt who has never played live – this is rock and roll and you are the buggest deutschbag in the world – go type in your corner you pimple faced cunt

Do not mess with the critic, deutschbags. The critic not only is always right, (s)he can also predict your behaviour down to the last pitiful homophobic, misogynistic, racist comment.

by Everett True

My name is Everett True. I am a music critic. This is what I do. I criticise music. The clue is in my job description – music critic. I do not consider myself a journalist, as I do not research or report hard news. I do not consider myself a commentator as I believe that everyone should be a participant. I criticise people and in return I am not surprised if other people criticise me. It is part of the whole deal of being in the public arena. I am Everett True. Believe in me and I have power like a God. Quit believing in me and I no longer exist.