by Wallace Wylie and Everett True
This week, Jeff takes his fans behind the scenes at his local fitness club.
Just thought of a great new article for my good friends over at The Huffington Post. The genesis of this article came from so many of my fans asking me how I stay looking so good even in the rough and tumble world of high stakes capitalism. The answer is simple: join a fitness club. If you’re anything like me, and I suspect you are, then you’ll spend many hours on the treadmill keeping trim. Sometimes, though, when my spirits are flagging I need a little rock and roll pick-me-up to get me through that last mile. That’s when I got my idea; what are the best songs to run on the treadmill to? This needs some thought.
OK, just so there’s no confusion I’m going to make some rules. Not that I want to be thought of as a “one rule fits all” type guy. We are just talking about my own personal fitness regime here. You might choose to have different rules – for example, you might want to limit the type of classic rock you listen to, and have it drawn from only one classic era. Post-1991 Nirvana is a real favourite of mine, if you need any pointers. For myself though, I like to open up the field to all types of classic rock, from 1981 – 2001 … and beyond!
Now we’ve cleared that up, here’s my list:
Coldplay – ‘Viva la Vida’
What better way to get pumped than with the charismatic singing and stately song-craft of Chris Martin and the boys. Ignore the lyrics if you want to run, though: their thoughtfulness may make you want to sit and ponder instead of run. [You've never been in a gymnasium in your life, have you Jeff? - Ed]
Pink Floyd – ‘Run Like Hell’
Phew, hose me down. (That’s more like it – Ed]
Pearl Jam – ‘Rearviewmirror’
If this doesn’t get you pumping your fist and upping your treadmill speed to a 7.5 calorie burn per minute rate then get yourself to a doctor, because I suspect you may be suffering from some kind of hitherto undiagnosed ailment that a doctor could help fix. The passionate intensity and soulful integrity of Eddie Vedder’s vocals alone should power you though those first one-and-a-half miles.
And finally a couple of indisputable classics:
Bruce Springsteen – ‘Born To Run’
Undoubtedly the greatest song of all time, second only to Green Day. Who needs to pump iron when you’ve got The Boss – that’s Bruce Springsteen for my younger readers – doing it for us every night? You might even want to try your hand on the gruelling cross-trainer while this is playing – and at five-and-a-half minutes long you’ll soon be shedding pounds like the great man himself.
Meat Loaf – ‘Bat Out Of Hell’
It is truly inspirational to see a fat man sweat.
I’d be very interested to see YOUR suggestions in the Comments Section below. What do YOU think?